Climate Crazies Now Say Netflix Causes Climate Change
by Jeff Dunetz
Netflix makes me laugh…literally. Their comedy specials are wonderful. Just in the past few months, they’ve featured comedy from some of my favorites such as Gabriel Iglesias and Jeff Dunham. Apparently, the supporters of the climate change hypothesis are jealous of the streaming service because they released something almost as funny as a comedian on Netflix. They are complaining that watching Netflix (or porn) releases CO2 into the atmosphere and causes Climate Change
Per Maxime Efoui-Hess, which is associated with the French think tank The Shift Project: “Watching a half-hour show leads to emissions of up to 1.6 kilograms of carbon dioxide.” That’s the equivalent of driving 3.9 miles.
Last year, online video streaming services produced carbon emissions equal to the size of Spain, and that amount may double, according to Efoui-Hess.
While 34 percent of online traffic comes from streaming videos on Netflix, Amazon Prime and Hulu (amongst others), the next biggest group is online porn.
That’s right, America. First, they wanted to take away the fossil fuels that heat your house and the electricity that runs our air conditioners and enable our cars to move. Then they want us to stop eating steak because cows fart and want Americans to stop traveling by airplane (don’t they know it’s a long walk to Tipperary, wherever that is). The climate crazies also want to destroy the economy with their Green New Deal, which would have no effect on climate. Their panic over an unproven hypothesis means we’ll be stuck in our houses that will be freezing during the winter and boiling hot during the summer because even if we have jobs, we couldn’t get to them anyway because we have no cars.
With all this misery created because of an unproven theory, climate crazies want to rip away our laughter by telling us not to stream NetFlix. And don’t ask me about the porn (unless we are talking off-line). The Shift Project is a French think tank…I thought the French loved porn almost as much as they enjoy surrendering. Heck, France is famous for selling “French postcards” pictures of nude women.
Per the NY Post, streaming services already growing are about to take a great leap forward
Meanwhile, Netflix boasted a 53 percent increase in international revenue from 2017 to 2018, and new highly anticipated streaming services are coming, including Disney+ and Apple TV+.
Then there’s the issue of ever-increasing screen size and quality, which takes even more energy to power. The Consumer Technology Association found that the average screen size in 1997 was just 22 inches. By 2021, they predict the average television size to be 50 inches. Popular 4K resolution screens use about 30 percent more energy than the high-definition screens that preceded it. Soon, powerful 8K resolution screens, which debuted last year, may become an industry standard.
I do not anticipate, however, that the Disney+ service will have adult movies, so don’t count on seeing “Snow White, One Girl’s Search For Sexual Pleasure With Seven Little People,” anytime soon.
Here’s the real solution. Until science proves that climate change is genuine by looking at the environment instead of flawed computer models that have been wrong in the vast majority of their predictions or explain why the Earth hasn’t warmed since Bubba Clinton was president…
…I am going to keep on streaming Netflix comedy specials, keep the temperature in my house at a pleasant 68-70 degrees, drive my car all over the place, travel to other countries by air, and eat nice juicy Kosher steaks.
There is something positive about this latest example of Climate Change fear-mongering. It becomes #66 on the list of the stupid things climate change fearmongers say caused, or was caused by climate change.
“The Official Lid List Of Stupid Things Fearmongers have said about Climate Change:”
- Arab spring
- Incredible shrinking sheep,
- Destruction of Afghan poppies
- Invasion of jellyfish in the Mediterranean
- A surge in fatal shark attacks
- Boy Scout tornado deaths,
- Severe acne
- Global conflict,
- Beer tasting bad
- Better Beer
- The suicide of farmers in Australia,
- End of the American Dream
- Bigger tuna fish,
- Fish shrinkage
- Longer days,
- Shorter days,
- The collapse of gingerbread houses in Sweden,
- Cow infertility,
- UFO sightings in the UK,
- Shortage of Hookers in the UK
- A rise in insurance premiums,
- Heroin addiction
- Bear attacks in Japan
- Frigid Cold Winters in Great Britain
- Death from heart disease, diabetes, stroke, respiratory disease, and even accidents,
- Homicide, suicide
- Coffee from Uganda
- Doggie Depression
- Waterborne disease outbreaks
- Bad relations with Russia
- A decline of Circumcision in Africa
- Heavier, wetter snowstorms treacherous for travel and ambulation,
- Lyme disease, swarms of allergy-inducing, stinging insects, along with mosquitoes and devastating pine bark beetle infestations and the spread of forest and crop pests
- Tigers eating people
- Fewer geese
- 40,000 dead crabs
- Shorter, higher-pitched frog mating calls in the Middle East.
- Screwed-up love-making,
- The Japanese earthquake-tsunami,
- A horrible rash of tornadoes in the southeast United States,
- Extended severe allergy seasons, Lyme disease, malaria or dengue fever, trauma, depression, high blood pressure, and heart disease,
- Eye Disorders.
- An Increased threat of wars, violence, and military action against the UK.
- Migration of possibly rabid Vampire bats from Mexico,
- Extreme weather, disappearing islands and less productive workdays
- Giant Snakes
- Armed robbery, prostitution, and drug abuse in Ghana will make you go nuts,
- The rise of terrorist group Boko Haram
- Caused the Seychelles snail to go extinct it’s alive and well),
- Rock Snot
- Increase anxiety, fear, and depression
- Expensive Olives
- No more red-haired people, women will become pear-shaped, incontinent, impotent bald guys with extra hair growing from his toes.
- Global Cooling
- The sinking of the Titanic
- Illegal Immigration
- Walrus “Convention”
- Shrinking Goats
- It will make us crazy