by Jeff Dunetz | Mar 26, 2017 | Climate
Perhaps it’s because most of the calamities predicted in the first movie didn’t happen, hurricanes didn’t increase in frequency and strength, polar ice caps didn’t melt, NY and other coastal cities aren’t underwater, Mt. Kilimanjaro still is snow-capped, tornadoes aren’t increasing in frequency and strength, the arctic isn’t melting, the Antarctic ice extent is growing, oh and the polar bear population is doing very well thank you. So former VP Al Gore wants to try another movie. He didn’t however take my suggestion and call the movie, “More Crap That Wont Happen.” The inventor of the internet did come up with something new and creative, he blamed Brexit on Climate Change, so it gets added to the “Stupid things blamed on climate change” list.
His latest theory is that climate change caused the British Brexit vote:
“One of the lines of investigation [scientists] have been pursuing has led them to the conclusion that significant areas of the Middle East and North Africa are in danger of becoming uninhabitable
“And, just a taste of this, to link it to some of the events that the UK and European Union are going through – think for a moment about what happened in Syria.
…
On the bright side, Gore’s claim that Brexit was caused by climate change becomes #64 on
“The Official Lid List Of Stupid Things Blamed on Climate Change:”
- Arab spring
- Incredible shrinking sheep,
- Destruction of Afghan poppies
- Invasion of jellyfish in the Mediterranean
- Surge in fatal shark attacks
- Boy Scout tornado deaths,
- Severe acne,
- Global conflict,
- Beer tasting bad
- Better Beer
- Suicide of farmers in Australia,
- End of the American Dream
- Bigger tuna fish,
- Fish shrinkage
- Longer days,
- Shorter days,
- Collapse of gingerbread houses in Sweden,
- Cow infertility,
- UFO sightings in the UK,
- Shortage of Hookers in UK
- Rise in insurance premiums,
- Heroin addiction
- Bear attacks in Japan
- Frigid Cold Winters in Great Britain
- Cancer
- Death from heart disease, diabetes, stroke, respiratory disease and even accidents,
- Homicide, suicide
- Coffee from Uganda
- Doggie Depression
- Water -borne disease outbreaks
- Bad relations with Russia
- Decline of Circumcision in Africa
- Heavier, wetter snowstorms treacherous for travel and ambulation,
- Lyme disease, swarms of allergy-inducing, stinging insects, along with
mosquitoes and devastating pine bark beetle infestations and the spread
of forest and crop pests - Tigers eating people
- Fewer geese
- 40,000 dead crabs
- Shorter, higher pitched frog mating calls in the Middle East.
- Screwed-up love-making,
- The Japanese earthquake-tsunami,
- Horrible rash of tornadoes in southeast United States,
- Extended severe allergy seasons, Lyme disease, malaria or dengue fever, trauma,
depression, high blood pressure and heart disease, - Eye Disorders.
- Increased threat of wars, violence and military action against the UK.
- Migration of possibly rabid Vampire bats from Mexico,
- Extreme weather, disappearing islands and less productive workdays
- Giant Snakes
- Armed robbery, prostitution, and drug abuse in Ghana, will make you go nuts,
- The rise of terrorist group Boko Haram
- Caused the Seychelles snail to go extinct its alive and well),
- Rock Snot
- Increase anxiety, fear and depression
- Expensive Olives
- Cannibals
- No more red-haired people, women will become pear-shaped, incontinent,
impotent bald guys with extra hair growing from his toes. - Global Cooling
- Sinking of The Titanic
- Illegal Immigration
- Prostitution
- ISIS
- Walrus “Convention”
- Shrinking Goats
- Diabetes
- Brexit